Therapeutic Self-Destruction.

1 who reads this, I just needed you to know that I figured it out.

I know why I had thought my ex was so fake.
She wasn’t actually trying to be fake. I know I picked up on something unnatural & that’s why I would get so upset…

You see,
sometimes people try to change their ‘natural’ behavior in order to win someone over. And that’s NOT how it should be.

I know, regardless of what she would probably say now,
that she loved me very much. And I know, because I loved her very much as well. And sometimes you change yourself, & try to become part of someone else’s world. And I know this because I also tried to change for her in the ~~past~~. But when you do this you are abandoning your OWN world, essentially WHO you are.

She was just trying to become part of my “reality”. Out of love.
She wasn’t being fake. I mean, essentially, she was. But fake to herself.
She was ignoring her own heart & soul…for me. But that’s not right..

And I feel so bad coming to this realization. Because I feel like I sent her off the path that she was SUPPOSED to travel. Re-direction. In the wrong direction. Further away from the person that she’s destined to be.

Meeting me may have been one of the worst things to happen in her life.

But I know that I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for her.
She was definitely part of the puzzle that is my life. I’ve learned SO MUCH from her.

I am thankful for her sacrifice, yet burdened by the guilt that I have from leading her astray…

But I have FAITH that she will find her RIGHT way.

1 WILL B3.

I will become. Although it may seem like it’s taking long, or nothing is happening, I feel it in my bones. FUCK THIS DOUBT. Because so far it’s gotten me nowhere. My crown is calling, & I’m yearning for my throne.

-STARFORCE TRIBE
(It’s a movement, conscious!)

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